Saturday, 20 July 2013

Living it Up (North): The War of the Smells

I'd like to start a running post series wherein I talk about what it's like to live in the North. Let's open it up on the small scale and start with something that has nothing to do with the "North" and everything to do with apartment living. (This is already going really well.)


Once a week or so, my hallway engages in the War of the Smells. In one suite, something olfactorily horrific happens: a cat dies, a crate of bean sprouts liquefies, the gluttony scene from Se7en plays out. The next suite over copes by sport smoking. 



And the suite next to that marinates their apartment in air freshener, trying to make up for the other two. Breathing through your mouth is no escape: this air is savoury. You can taste that piney-fresh, low-tar, week-dead cat. 

Through all of this, inside our apartment, we have a sneak-attack onion smell. It's strongest inside our storage closet and our cupboards, even the ones under the sink in the bathroom. 

It's a weird place, so far. Smell-wise.

13 comments:

  1. This post...the best. I can't full sentences. Olfactorily horrific.

    You.

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  2. I have a very poor sense of smell. I think it is a blessing. There are many more nasty smells in this world (especially if you live in NYC) than nice ones.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yeah, I bet NYC smells trump Fort St John smells every time, good and bad!

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    2. That's why we call New York City's Chinatown "Stinky Fish Town." That is exactly why.

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  3. Ugh, smells. I'm really lucky that our apartment building does have many stink factors, aside for the occasional smell of cigarettes or weed. But in our last apartment we had a stinky closet in the kitchen and I could NOT figure out what it was. I literally wiped the entire inside of the closet down with bleach and it was still there. So glad we moved from there, there's probably a body in the walls or something...

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    Replies
    1. That is so weird! What is with you, mystery closet smells? (Pleasedon'tbesomethinginthewall, pleasedon'tbesomethinginthewall.)

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  4. Bhahahaha omg that sounds horrible but also hilarious. Ah apartment living...

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    1. Haha, that's just it, right? You can't be upset because it's at once so crazy and so cliched. Also, the hallway smells don't really make it into our apartment, which is VERY GOOD.

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  5. Iiiiiiiick. I'm so sorry. I can tell when my next door neighbor uses drain cleaner, as well as the general horribleness with the plumbing backing up into my bathtub/sink.

    Hurrah apartments.

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    Replies
    1. Oh man, I have been following your plumbing saga on the Social Media, and holy crap. What even IS THAT that backs up into your bathtub? Human remains???

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  6. Replies
    1. I THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS.

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Talk to me, internets.